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Disappointing Mi Madre

April 26, 2010 by Tellie  
Filed under My Inner Kindlings

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Phone conversation

Me: I did a lot of thinking and I declined to speak at graduation.
Mom: What!!?? Why’d you do that??? You should do it! I would.
Me: You’re extroverted, of course you’d do it.
Mom: You play piano in public
Me: Yeah, but I’m actually GOOD at that. Ask dad if he would speak at his graduation.
Mom: *asks* He said yes
Dad:*in background* No!! I did not say that
Mom: He said yes, in his heart.

NOTE: Before I get into spiel of this post, “disappointing” my mother sounds a little harsh, she is very proud of my accomplishments. She’s so proud of me in fact she already told her coworkers I will be speaking at graduation. I think she really just wants to have a front row seat and to yell “THAT’S MY BABY!” as I glide across that marvelous stage in May 2010.. I love her to death, but our personalities are very different. She’s extremely extroverted and does a lot of public speaking venues. My dad on the other hand is a lot more like I am so he understands where I’m coming from.

What an honor! I was asked to speak at my graduation! But there is a problem, I do not like public speaking at all. As an opponent of the “sink or swim” method, I do not think me speaking in front of thousands is such a good idea. My first experience with public speaking was a nightmare. The likelihood of history repeating itself is likely, especially when I would have to follow Cicely Tyson!

So here is the story of my first speech in speech class: I got up in front of the class and stumbled over my words, said the first two sentences over and over again, and sat down dejected nearly in tears (and I did eventually cry in the solitude of my own room). Yeah, I may have pulled it together and became one of the best speakers in the class…but still, public speaking is not my specialty.

I wouldn’t mind giving public speeches in the future, I’m actually planning on joining a local Toastmaster’s chapter after moving out of the middle of nowhere. I want to give public speeches! But I also do not want to look like a fool. So for now, I will just have to disappoint my mother.

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  • aw that's too bad. i was lucky to be able to present at my convocation, it was pretty epic. aside from sitting with all the dignitaries, the great food, and being able to speak in front of thousands of people, it was just fun!

    but i understand if you don't want to, public speaking can be very paralyzing. and don't worry about your mom, she'll just get over it.

  • Katie

    hahaaa I would probably react in exactly the same way and my mum would think the same. (-;

  • Oh my goodness that conversation with your mother made me laugh because it sounds exactly like how my mother would react and what she would say. I'm sure it was just your mother's initial reaction. I'm sure she is not really disappointed. Don't worry. You need to do what makes you happy and if speaking at your graduation isn't going to make you happy in the long run and you've thought it through, then I think you've made the right decision. I'm sure your mother will be just as proud to see you walk up and get your diploma, too.

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