Sapiosexual

You don't really write like anything close to a grammar-nazi, untrained or otherwise. At best, you could be described as someone with a decent grasp of the language. Risk and wrist? I can understand that being a turn-off. Indeed, like Dave pointed out, how you got off in the very first place is a mystery.


Did you read the original description though?

"Here's an e-mail that I sent out a while back on what I mean by sapiosexual. The message was in response to "What gender do you prefer in sex and/or a relationship?"Me? I don't care too much about the plumbing. I want an incisive, inquisitive, insightful, irreverent mind. I want someone for whom philosophical discussion is foreplay. I want someone who sometimes makes me go ouch due to their wit and evil sense of humor.I decided all that means that I am sapiosexual. I want to fuck with peoples minds. :)I invented this term while on too little sleep driving up from SF in the summer of '98 and I'm trying to propagate it as much as possible. So please use it when appropriate...But where's the gender in all that? That people that I find like that also happen to have marvelous, wonderful bodies happens to be a perq. Flesh is fun...You can only fuck someone for so long (5-8 hours is finite) but you talk forever."~ Darren Stalder

BTW Lo Sapio means "the wise one" and was a designation for the wise man/woman of a tribe. . .

OMG. Now I know why people like me so much
Lucille Lo Sapio

Hi there!

Something related to ts.  I dated a guy who told me that he likes me and that he was attracted to me.  However,  it was a big turn off my critical mind.  I have to be honest,  I found himself not very informed in a lot of topics but I did not give it to much of attention as I really like more aspects of him.  He seemed to enjoy our discussions.  The reality is that he could be critical about some topics but in others he was very conservative.  Like homophobia for example and he was not open to change his very conservative mind.

At the end he broke up with me because he couldnt stand to have a partner who thinks out of the box.

It has hit feelings and I am a bit heartbroken.

Linguistically speaking, the prefix "sapio" derives from "sapient", which means "wise".

A more accurate definition for "sapiosexual" is: One who finds WISDOM the most sexually attractive feature.

Sorry to be the language police.

Wouldn't it be sabiosexual as opposed to sapiosexual?

Being attracted to intelligence isn't an excuse for being shallow. Because of his grammar? Really? He is the better for it.

"makes me go ouch"

She's a Grammar Nazi, but she _goes_ ouch...

While I don't necessarily have to explain myself (since it is my blog ) I guess I should address how I feel about grammar. Some grammar rules I am willing to overlook. I do realize not everyone receives a decent education. I do have a problem, however, when one does not know the difference between risk and wrist. I thought it would be a little mean to say exactly what errors were made by this particular person, but I will say switching risk and wrist was one of many. If that makes me shallow, then so be it.
I still stand by what I say, some grammar errors really turn me off.

Rather silly of you to go out with him in the first place. In 5 minuets of conversation on any subject it is possible to know if a person is worth 5 more minuets. My guess is you were attracted to some other aspect...or his personality?

"5 minuets"? That's a lot of dancing, buddy. ;-)

While intelligence may be the MOST attractive trait its not the ONLY thing. So yeah there was more to it...he was damn good looking. Also I may have been a wee bit desperate at the time. You live and learn :)

Fuuunnyyyy! Ha!

You're not so great at sentences yourself - neither are your fellow grammar-nazi commenters: "And I never told him this was the reason why I ended our relationship." - why, the "why?" It should just be: "And I never told him this was the reason I ended our relationship."

 "I also have issues when people state words wrong too lol Drives me insane for some reason." This should be "wrongly," - not "wrong." And why no comma after "too?" Actually, "as well" would have been better than "too," also.

Grammar "rules" also change over time, and vary somewhat due to location. So it all depends when and where you were schooled. As well as this, some people aren't fortunate (or privileged) enough to have had a full and formal education. Does this automatically make them unintelligent? I think not.

Grammar DOES NOT matter - and is NOT a sign of intelligence, or of a LACK OF IT! Common usage is the way these days - especially in this internet age. As long as a person understands what you are trying to say - both literally and in terms of the emotional message - then that is all that matters. That is a much more accurate indicator of actual intelligence. 

For these reasons and others, grammar-nazis ARE just snobs - and usually are not remotely as intelligent as they like to think.

Get over yourselves!!!

P.S. I too am massively attracted by intelligence. I wouldn't fancy any of the twats here!

Wow! Bravo!

It's funny because most people WOULD think of this as being 'stuck-up' or 'arrogant', but honestly, it's no different than most people in our society's standards on physical appearance.  Being over-conscious of someone's grammatical abilities is equivalent, I believe, to the next person being grossed out over a potential partner's dental hygiene..  I don't think it's wrong to judge people on intelligence, because, like brushing your teeth, we all have a choice.  Whether or not we pick up the book or toothbrush makes us who we are.   And the people who like us for who we are, whether we pick up the book, but not the toothbrush, or we pick up both (my husband'll pick up both) - it all boils down to our choices.  So, yeah..  You're not a picky bastard.  You're a girl with standards.  :)

I totally never thought of it this way! That makes me feel better :)

It's funny because most people WOULD think of this as being 'stuck-up' or 'arrogant', but honestly, it's no different than most people in our society's standards on physical appearance.  Being over-conscious of someone's grammatical abilities is equivalent, I believe, to the next person being grossed out over a potential partner's dental hygiene..  I don't think it's wrong to judge people on intelligence, because, like brushing your teeth, we all have a choice.  Whether or not we pick up the book or toothbrush makes us who we are.   And the people who like us for who we are, whether we pick up the book, but not the toothbrush, or we pick up both (my husband'll pick up both) - it all boils down to our choices.  So, yeah..  You're not a picky bastard.  You're a girl with standards.  :)

Honey, you ain't alone. I've learnt (in my 30 years) that - while this was the chief complaint I had in my 20s - it's allowed me to lighten up a bit and bond with a brilliant, emotionally mature and concise man with integrity and an insanely adept sense of humour. More than having a mind - he -speaks- it. So, I did the only logical thing a gal could do - I married him. ;)

We're also both kinky and enjoy BDSM; and the reasons I do is likely because of my sapio- / sometimes downright asexuality. I've always giggled at certain things about his personality that would drive me up a tree - like his sloppy grammatical habits, even though he has a wonderfully massive vocabulary. I'm sure it is because it's part and parcel, but I just shake my head at him lovingly and correct what needs it.

He can't take charge in the bedroom, though. While he's an amazing lover in the traditional sense, (mad skillz, yo) any time he's tried, it's like, 'You spelt "couples' therapy" as "Couple's Therapy" - and I'm still trying to figure out why you chose to personify either word.' He's not dominant any way, so it's never become an issue luckily. But he just doesn't understand that I'm never going to be able to feel even the teensiest bit submissive to a man who can't reasonably debate with me the legitimacy of the Oxford comma. I know! You think -you're- complicated ....

And, really, BDSM is all about giving in to the feeling of someone having some kind of inexplicable power over you. I can love my husband with all my heart and soul because he's an incredible person; I can even have great sex with him -because- of our relationship and the fact that he's carnally talented. But he can't flip that switch like someone able to eloquently articulate all of the naughty things going through my mind which I won't dare admit. Such is life.

I do get to pondering at times why'm I this way at all. Intelligence has -always- been a requirement for me, but it's only gotten to be in recent years that I've discovered the power of articulation - of almost Victoriana-influenced wit and elegance. THAT's what gets me there faster than anything. If I'm already there, so to speak, then my husband's raw sexuality is very charming. Otherwise ... I'd rather be writing, or researching, or reading, or learning something.

He doesn't seem to understand that the moments I find him the sexiest are when he's reading some higher level economics journal, enjoying his black coffee and listening to Chopin. Were he to say even the slightest dominant-ish thing to me, I might melt on the spot. But the second I show interest, -he- melts at my touch, (which, you gotta admit - is SO wonderful) and ... well, damn; now I'm expected to take the helm, and I wasn't feeling that right then.

'Tis a tricky thing to navigate.

I wish you the best of luck with making sense of your own!

I know, I know!

I SO KNOW WHAT YOU DESCRIBE THERE.

Intelligence must definitely be part of the package but it isn't the whole package.

I'm a hot nerd. :D that's fact.

It is SERIOUSly hard trying to find an intelligent yet easy going girl out there.. soo I guess the guys have the same issues as the gals :)
Good luck tho :)

great post, plus I love that you taught me something new here! You will find someone who you don't have to 'settle' for. You're half way there if you can really identify what it is that you need in your significant other. Good luck, and try to enjoy the search!