A Change of Perspectives

My last post was a bit ambiguous and like I said I can’t go into details, but everything turned out wonderfully.  Of course you readers will never know the seriousness of what I’ve just been through…but it was indeed life changing. I look at things in a whole new light,and I am very appreciative of the life I have.

Have you ever been through something that made you feel this way?

FML

Sometimes you think there couldn’t possibly be anything worse than death, but in my short 20-something years of life I have come to learn otherwise. I am going through some issues that I can not blog about. Just to dispel any misconceptions no one is hurt, sick, fighting, angry, or in any sort of harm. But honestly I can’t even conjure a more serious problem than the one I am dealing with.  I honestly think this is the biggest problem I will ever have to face in my lifetime.  Sometimes I’d swear (except I don’t) that my life would make a kick ass movie…FML.

Life Update

I think it’s about time for a few major life updates so I’m going to go down the list and get everyone caught up. Here we go!

Grad Schools

I applied for 6 different graduate schools in the month of January.  Usually you hear back from graduate schools in late February, March, or early April.  Out of the six schools, I have heard from three schools within the first week of February alone!  One school is even paying for me to visit during my spring break!  I am waiting to see what fellowships/funding is available at each school before I make my ultimate decision.

Meanwhile I am waiting to hear from the other three schools which are all popular, expensive, and in Washington DC area. Ideally I would like to attend one of these schools, but if I can’t afford it…well…I can’t afford it.  Because of the snow all the schools located in the DC area have informed me that they are behind on their application process. And since it is still early, I still have hope for acceptance and funding.

Health

Health wise I could be doing better. I had some blood work done by the doctors and there were a few things that were off but nothing substantial enough to explain what’s wrong. My doctor told me point blank: “I don’t know what to do from here”. I’ve been forwarded to a neurologist, whom I haven’t had time to see yet but basically I’m running in circles. I’ve been to countless doctors about the same thing and no one knows. It’s beyond frustrating.

The Ultimate Challenge

I’ve been doing alright on the ultimate challenge.

• I’ve dropped doing the squats for now for no good reason.  I’m inherently lazy and I just can’t help it.
• Doing the situps is a sinch!
• I can’t do the pushup challenge because I can’t do a pushup. This is so sad since I once held a state record for most consecutive pushups by a girl in my age group. So what if it was in 5^th grade? I really, really did! Anywhoo I have modified the pushup challenge to girl pushups and on the second go around I will try real pushups
• I have not started running.  There is still snow and ice on the ground. This is the one exercise I’m looking forward to. Luckily for me I have found a few friends who have agreed to run with me so I won’t be the only unhealthy looking fool running around the track.

Diet Change

I’ve decided to go vegetarian. I’m in the very early stages of it though.  I’ve done a lot of research and the health benefits seem worthwhile. I was reading a few articles that stated going vegetarian has been known to improve chronic painnd since I suffer from chronic pain I think it’s worth a shot.

No I’m not Anorexic…but…

I don’t like food.

Wait! Wait! Please don’t judge me…hear me out!

I know I blogged about my eating habits before, but a couple months ago while talking to a friend about said habits, I came to a shocking conclusion: I don’t like eating.  I don’t like pork. I don’t like beef. Or chicken. Turkey is the worst. Don’t get me started on vegetables. I’m not even into chocolate or sweets. I do prefer to eat starches, but I can live without.  Fruits are probably the food group I tolerate the most. That’s it. I have preferences not likenesses.

You can imagine how frustrated my parents were when I was growing up and I exclaimed after every meal that “I don’t like it!” Now I just don’t bother. So what do I eat? Pretty much everything…whatever tastes best. But do I enjoy it? No, not really. The only reason why I eat is so that I feel good. When I don’t eat for a long extended period of time, I feel crappy…I guess most people call that feeling hunger. So in order to avoid feeling crappy, I eat.  If I didn’t need to eat to live,  I probably wouldn’t.

This was a huge problem when I first started college. In high school there was a set time for lunch, and my parents always cooked dinner at a certain time.  When I went to college I literally forgot to eat because, for me, eating was a chore.   So instead of gaining the freshman 15, I literally lost 15 lbs my first semester.  I’m doing better now and my weight is stabilized and  I eat lunch and dinner at the same time everyday so I don’t “forget”.

I’m not skinny. I’m just average. But I do realize I eat less than everyone I know.  My friends know I don’t eat a lot and they’re fine with it because I don’t starve myself . I just eat until I’m full and I’m done with it. I don’t eat for pleasure. I find eating just as pleasurable as washing dishes, doing laundry, or taking a poop on the toilet. This situation has me wondering: Am I the only person in the world that doesn’t get a kick out of eating? Am I weird? Crazy? HELP!