Rude Awakening

I’ve taken two tests since I started the PhD program. The first I did alright, the second I failed (for me failing is scoring more than one standard deviation below the mean). I really freaked out. I began to worry about passing the qualifier in June. Then I realized June is 7 months away and I haven’t even been a PhD student for 2 months. I’ve learned alot from this “failure”:

1. Even the best students fail. I think in my case it is due to improper study strategies. Now that I’ve seen a test, I know what to expect.

2. After talking to some second years, it is really hard to do well before the third quarter. (Remember I am taking a class with more mathematically prepared students from more rigorous programs).

3. Freaking out does no good. It’s a waste of time. I think I’ve wasted a good 10 hours thinking I’m some imposter, but …

4. I am not alone in my feelings.

So tomorrow I’m waking up early heading to starbucks and studying my ass off. Hopefully things will look better from here on!

Typical Week

I’m just writing this down for my memory. I still think I have time management issues but I try to stick with this schedule. I am a first year PhD student.

Monday, Wednesdays

Tuesdays and Thursdays

Fridays

Saturdays and Sundays

So I’m spending 65 hours doing school work on a good week. And I try to be in bed by midnight although it’s usually closer to 1am. I’m still getting a good 6-8 hours of sleep which is awesome, and I try to catch up on missed sleep over the weekend.

This is not a good week since it’s midterm week. I’ve been studying 10 hours every day at least for the past week or so. How many of these study hours are actually productive is yet to be determined.

I don’t plan on life getting much better until next Thursday.

Drinking…

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before but…

I don’t drink.
Not because I think it’s morally wrong.
I think it’s perfectly okay when not done in excess.
But for me, alcohol tastes like battery acid and vomit.
Maybe it is an acquired taste.
However, it’s not a taste I ‘m willing to acquire.
Why would I waste my money torturing myself?
I know a few people who use alcohol to unwind after a long week.
I would rather unwind by playing classical music on the piano.

Overcoming Shyness

I know I’ve mentioned it before in a blog post but I suffer from shyness. I wouldn’t quite call it social anxiety but I’m not very outgoing, I don’t really care for new social situations,  etc.  But over the past two months I’ve been making an effort to combat my shyness.  I’ve been coming out of my shell.  I’ve done a ton of things that I wouldn’t normally do and I’ve started making quite a few friends.  I’m loving the new social life that I have (although it isn’t much since I’m in hell-year as far as graduate school is concerned).

I think what helps the most is not being depressed. Now that I think about it, I was probably a bit depressed in previous months/years.  Being in constant pain every day can do that to a person I hear. But now that I’m not in pain all the time things are just so much easier.

So what have I been doing?

• Rock climbing
• Frequenting bars
• Exploring the city
• Tailgating
• Going to parties
• Throwing parties
• Joining student organizations
• Going to church regularly

I like this way of living so much better!