Chronic Pain

Yes, I’m still dealing with whatever mystery illness I have.   It still has yet to be diagnosed by a doctor, and it’s just a literal pain in the rear end  …..and the shoulder,  neck, and the knees, head, etc.

I use to spend a lot of time googling possible illnesses, but I haven’t done that in well over a year.

I use to watch every episode of Mystery Diagnosis hoping that I’d find the answer, and I don’t do that anymore either.

Iguess I’ve sort of given up hope.  I’ve lost faith in the medical system and fear I will never get a diagnosis.

I don’t tell many people about how often I’m not feeling well. I don’t need sympathy. And I don’t like complaining.  I’m pretty sure it’s good to talk about your problems with someone every once and a while, yet that’s just not me.  I don’t like burdening other people with my problems. I don’t like it when other people worry…especially about me.

I don’t think anyone understands exactly how much pain I am actually talking about, not even my parents.  I’m talking about enough pain to make me cry.  And trust me when I say this, it takes a lot to make me cry. I’ve even thought about calling 911 several times this year especially on that one day I was in so much pain I could barely walk.

So I’m guessing it’s time for me to go back and start looking for an actual diagnosis.  This means going to the doctors.  I hate doctors. Because honestly, I’m not fearful of finding something wrong; I’m more fearful of finding nothing wrong. So I’ve scheduled a doctor’s appointment for Friday. The first day of my break.

In the past I’ve gotten possible diagnoses of multiple sclerosis, depression, lyme disease, parkinsons disease, arthritis, hypochondria, hyperchondria (I made that word up but seriously one doctor told me I don’t care enough about my health), and absolutely nothing at all. In the back of my mind I’ve always wondered if I have fibromyalgia, it’s the only thing that fits, but no doctors have suggested it…I will definitely bring it up at my next appointment.

Well what ever it is I know it’s not nothing, and I’m pretty sure it’s not depression…because other than this illness, I’m absolutely loving my life!  I love my friends, I love the fact that I’m about to graduate next semester, I have an amazing family, and things are just so awesomely fantastic, well, almost…except for the fact that I can’t remember the last I was 100% pain free.

And even if the appointment I have scheduled for Friday doesn’t work out, at least I’ll get the malaria pills I need for my trip.

I’m Cautiously Excited: Upcoming Trip

My trip out of country  is in less than 1 month!! I haven’t left the country in forever and I just can’t wait! This trip will be different from all my other trips, as I am going primarily for work.  But I’m sure I will have plenty of time to explore in the three short weeks I will be there.

So why am I cautiously excited? When I first learned about my trip, the first thing I thought about was bringing my camera. Do I really want to bring my expensive camera to a third world country?  The answer is yes, of course, but I was worried it would get stolen. Thing is if I don’t take the risk now, I won’t be able to take the risk ever again. And since I would like traveling to be a big part of my future, I need to start somewhere.

So I am officially bringing my camera. And I’m soo excited to use it while I am out of country.  I can’t wait to see the Mayan ruins, the beaches, the tropical forests (hint, hint)  And I can’t wait to share it with my blog readers…well the few that I have left.  But I am cautious as this is the first time I’ve walked around a poor country with an expensive gizmo by my side.  It’s also the first time I’ve been to a poor country by myself.  But like I said, if I’m going to be doing this the rest of my life, I will have to start somewhere.

I realize I’ve pretty much neglected my blog since school started this past semester…its been crazy busy, but I’m still on track to graduating in three instead of four years. So you can imagine the stress I’ve been under cramming two semesters worth of classes into one. Talk about fun stuff. Next week is final exams, so after that I’m homeward bound then I’m heading south to my secret destination

Don’t You Just Hate That…

Little triangle that the windshield wipers don’t wipe?  I’m sorry, it’s been bothering me…

Being nice never got anyone anywhere…except heaven

I have come to terms that being rude gets the job done around here.  Which is exactly why all the postal workers at my school know me by name. My expectations may be too high, but I expect my packages to be found in a timely manner.  Don’t get me wrong I do try to be nice but after 30 minutes of waiting, I get bored and yelling makes things interesting and plus my packages get found a lot faster.

When my internet goes out instead of calling the help desk once, I call them dozens of times.  This is only because I know I have shortened my wait from 10 days to 10 minutes.  Sometimes I call so many times that I have multiple maintenance people coming to my room in one day. Oops.

And you don’t want to know what I did when my dorm’s water heater was broken…

Am I wrong?