A Virgin?
July 14, 2009 by Tellie
Filed under Featured Content, My Inner Kindlings
flickr | lilcrabbygirl
Funny?
Shocking?
I decided when I was young that I wanted to wait for sex until I fell in love. The problem is, I am very picky person. Oh, I’ve dated, but that isn’t going very well. I’ve meet a lot of men who I really like, who I enjoy hanging out with and chatting to, but when I ask myself, “Can I picture myself in bed with this person?” the answer is “NO”.
So even though I’m 20something years old — though not due to lack of opportunities — I am still a virgin.
For me, it is a combination of not landing the right guy and the religion in which I was raised. I certainly don’t go around preaching abstinence; it’s just something I practice personally. I’m one of those girls who realizes I have to be over the moon for a guy before I can fathom him seeing me naked. And the truth is, I’ve never really wanted a guy bad enough to sleep with him.
But now as time goes on and I’m not getting any younger, I am facing a dilemma. I’ve put far too much time and effort and occasionally tears into trying to figure out why I’m so picky. Is it biological? Is it a mental problem? An emotional problem? Do I have commitment issues? Do I just come up with reasons for the unsuitability of the opposite sex because I’m just not ready? Are all my reasons for never seriously dating just lame excuses?
Logically, it’s hard trying to stand up to my personal morals when no one else seems to be standing up for their own. As a Christian how can I say I’ll practice abstinence when I am certain that well over 80% of unmarried Christians my age are having sex? Also, I’m not a religious fanatic. I don’t go to church on any sort of regular basis, and there are a lot of other “non Christian” things. Why do I even bother?
I am coming to terms that I am as an individual is not defined by my virginity. It’s part of me, but still I l fret and fuss over it. Sometimes I feel all alone on this path as a 20something year old virgin.
